About Kaylah Hilliard,
Certified IAT Coach

I have been a teacher for over 20 years, and since my discovery of Attachment Theory 6 years ago, I have devoted my passion for teaching toward helping others heal and create healthy relationships. Here is my story:

 

In my very earliest childhood memories, I navigated the turbulent world of parents struggling with addiction, the CPS and foster systems, and developed my understanding of love and care by example of mentally unwell relatives. Upon returning to my mother in her recovery, my siblings and I followed her as she was in and out of domestic violence shelters. It would be nearly a decade before she finally broke free from the cycle. In adulthood, my body started sending me warning signals in the form of panic attacks. Unfortunately, it was not evident to me why I was experiencing them for many years. Young children don't have the cognitive capacity to process traumatic events, and I later learned that my body was storing what had yet to be addressed and it was manifesting in the form of nervous system overload. The domestic violence and narcisistic abuse I endured in childhood left me with an underdeveloped blueprint for what safety and love look like in relationships, and though I swore it would never be me, I found myself battling the same unhealthy patterns as I witnessed my mother endure. Not only were my relationships further trumatizing me, but my friendships, work relationships, and family connections were full of conflict, self-abandonment, and betrayal. My physical symptoms increased and I hit a breaking point which became the catalyst for my pursuit for answers. Why did existing in the world seem so safe for so many, yet feel so consistently unsafe for me?  Am I the problem? When I found Attachment theory, line by line all of the dots connected. I was able to finally understand what was driving my contributions to those toxic dynamics, and it revealed crystal clear strategies with active steps I could follow to heal them. Using the very tools I teach in my program, I was able to rewire my programming and create a new blueprint for safe and healthy love. I went from several panic attacks a day to rarely experiencing them at all! I went from loneliness to having strong, trusting friendships. I built a reciprocal and devoted, loving partnership. I went from struggling in the face of conflict to confidently helping others to calmly navigate it. Most importantly, for the first time in my life, I had developed a strong self-identity and cultivated genuine self-love.  Thanks to these experiences, I understand the long and challenging journey of healing on an intimate level. My path has gifted me with a depth of compassion and a lense of non-judgement that I bring to sessions to support others as they grow through life's toughest challenges. I hold a certification as an Integrated Attachment Theory, ICF Accredited Relationship Coach, and I aspire to pursue an MFA in Somatic Counseling Psychology.